Wednesday, June 22, 2011
As I lay here in my room all alone, you in my head, I scan over the surface of my fleshscape. Watching the living hills rise and fall with each breath. I see my thighs like pillars made of milk, knees leaning on one another like lovers strolling through the park. They sway from left to right in tune with the music softly wafting through the air. Subtle vibrations that influence my emotions always. The covers are velveteen and this room is dark. In my solitude I relish the serenity and freeness of it all. I can pretend you're here and writhe about seductively while you watch me on my bed. Or I can imagine you watching me through the bathroom window where the amber oiled steam rises like swirling phantoms out the window into the night air. Your eyes just above the sill as I'm smoothing my oils over my shoulders and arms. The sweat and bathwater tears blend and roll down my waist in rivulets to the curves of my hips. I raise one leg and with both hands I smooth the scented loveliness up and down my inner thigh. I move my hands up my belly to my ribs, to my breasts. You are what is on my mind in moments like these. You've been here for so long. You were there when I snuck out of the window into the night and ran naked through the forest. You were there the time I sprawled out on top of my dad's car in the yard under the moonlight, nipples taut at the cold twilight. You'll be there when I lay my head down tonight and summon you here with me.
Not totally. No, never are you really here, but you may never come to me in such form. I will make due with the apparition. Maybe in a parallel universe I appear in your head, daunting you and seducing you over and over again. I wonder if I have black feathered wings, or tendrils of light sprouting from between my shoulders that encompass you and turn you all around. You've unfurled your obsidian wings for me. I've heard your hooves disturb the dusty understory of the forest where I crept all naked and wild. You've chased me underwater and kissed me there giving me gills. I'll swim in these fantasies from this world to the next, and from the next back to this. I carved this deep inside myself and it displays beautifully.