Might as well live

Yellow paper dress
Fragrant flower in my hair
Whiskey smoke tongue
licking sizzle chops
Bass on lock
moon roof open
smell of summer
contemplating
Swinging to the stars
Synchronized musical swayback
I nudge my slides off
Getting into the rhythm
Red shiny ribbons of spun silk
Thunder in tendrils
Back and forth
Back and forth
unknown territory
Enthralled
Elated
Rumbling with love
A thousand petals unfurl
From deep inside my core
Breath of life
Wanton
Ready
Yellow paper dress
Swirling up as I soar
Rustling soft baby chick yellow
Kissing my thighs
Feather touching my hips
Unveiling Vessa legs
Kicking in the wind
Toes spread
feet arched
Giggling at the dip
Upside down
Eyes open
Taut like a peach
About to burst forth
In this heat
Leaving little fires everywhere I go
Singing to myself
Gripping the silver flask
with my little pony legs
unscrewing the lid
Singing
Dreaming
Sipping
Always dancing

Notes found in my book

I'm using my phone to post so these past few are coming through all wonky. It's the only computer I have. So bear with me....... I'll build my garden You could come show me your horticultural skills..... I think it sucks being lonely and being sad after getting my heart stomped, but as I reflect on the past year I'm thinking I'd rather be broken hearted, lonely and alone than broken hearted, lonely and still in a failing relationship… Ferris Wheel chat-
 The meat of the program is controlling all that switching You can look, but you can never look away The wheel has you. Smoke and whiskey isn't gonna get us anywhere Just don't be too bad or don't get caught… ……
 I want to be surprised sometime, like I do when I come around. Someone to play with the braids I came with tonight. I want to be taken in better than I've ever known. Blow me away with the most formidable acumen and insight I've ever encountered... Tell me you not only understand, but can challenge me. I am so wild and impenetrable...  …Animatronic Xmas deer yard decor are terrifying...... I need to be a black glitter shadow....... In generosity and helping others BE LIKE A RIVER

How it once was

I found this while digging through my notes. I remember feeling this way. It went into a really intense love letter. I think I'm going to start writing love letters again, but this time they'll be to me. A love letter written long ago............. Blackest of black Gouache spreads in branches across thick aquarelle. The dendrites reach out for new thoughts and expressions. Tonight I paint the bottoms of my feet in red ochre. They leave tiny red prints on the page.... Vessatrax.   I make my signals to you from across the gleaming cities and freeways. Quick, slow, quick quick, slow. My chest is heaving as I pant like a wolf. My breasts quiver like puppys begging to be pet and nuzzled. I run through the night with my bow and arrows ready to pierce your sacred heart of hearts. My hair smells of oakmoss and white patchouli. I run with my pack of spirit animals hunting for nourishment. Lusting for knowledge. The stars and moon flow through my veins and I am ignited by your fiery ways. Any girl who could resist your advances is a blind fool. I think about lying my ear to your chest and hearing your poetry flow from within you. I am enamored of your wanton words and animated stories. I cannot wait to stroke your hair and sing you to sleep. Can't see the waxing moon when you're surrounded in city. I want to watch the moon with you. I'd build a moon with you. We could start from scratch.

Sunday Night is WHERE

At least that's what I told her. Who reads this? Gathered petals that gave with ease and were intoxicatingly fragrant I put the petals to work in my hands and created a symbol on the ground with their sweet alabaster cursive lines Anyone who lays eyes on it will smile Some might wince with pain <3༤ཉེོད་༠༄

Crazy heart

If I never see that man ever again it'll be too soon. I had such a beautiful morning stroll through the p patch. I talked to the lovely creatures growing there and was headed to work when lo and behold he's driving up to me and staring me right in the eyes. Deflated and confused I went into work. I wish he'd move to Siberia or stop eyeballing me right when I get to work. I guess what I really would like is for it to stop hurting. I tried to lift my spirits on my lunch break by basking in the sun surrounded by the beautiful flowers, but I just ended up crying in the sun surrounded by beautiful flowers. When will I stop feeling this way? 

When the working day is done

The weekend was spent painting, dancing, creating and of course drinking.  I'm proud to say my best friends' wife, who just so happens to be a fearie, has landed the led light design gig on the new ferris wheel on Elliot Bay for the fourth.  I was sucked into the program of the wheel for a long time.  Dancing at Soul Night was absolutely what I needed.  We were soaked when we left.  I ran through the sprinklers and woke up in their California King sized bed in my panties.  Those kids are so fun.  I just wish I could get away from everything for a season.  My love in the Great North wants me to join her in working the blueberry harvest.  I really wish I could.  I'd love nothing better than to just go work on a farm with my best friend and give my sweat, skin and song to the Earth.  The city is getting to me.  We self medicate to tolerate the insideous nastiness of this way of life.  Stories and songs are realized here.  There's so much beauty here that I see everyday, but the soil calls me.  I crave cultivation, community, and rest.  The party never ends it seems. My talents are not being wasted, but my potential has not been fully realized here. I see them watch me watch them watching me. I stuffed my pockets with rose petals.  I pulled the heads off of the ones that surround the park.  They were going to fall off any minute. I was careful to only take the ones that gave with ease. Like fruit. Like me.   I dream of having my own garden.  I dream of being free and loved. Either I have a gaurdian angel, or it's a severe stroke of luck that I haven't been approached at either swing set.  I'm relieved that my audience leaves me be. Several people came out and shot off fireworks.  It was very climactic for me because I was really into my full swing mode and had started launching rose petals into the air while touching the tree with my toes. 

In the Garden a year later

Twisted red loops fitted with black elastic
mother of pearl dripping
from her earlobes
painted on her nails
abalone
labradorite
dusts the wood with metals
precious
reflective and pearlescent
visits peoples gardens
works the soil in the sun
planting with children
dreaming of her own garden
earthly delights
flowers mist the air
with sex and rain
click goes the camera
a tangle of emotions
captured, reflected
sent out to touch
to taste
to dance upon your eyes
to touch again and again
this gypsy mermaid
casts her bioluminescent net out to sea
in hopes of a remarkable catch
sings prairie songs
on the swingset
leaves trails of petals to her front door
the swings leave bruises on her arms
dream lovers
tesser actors
softest mouth
most careful caresses
No one is watching
secret hideout
say my name in that place
when you come