Monday, December 26, 2011

Ace of Cups

Sugary words lashing 
Oh my wounded heart is so hopeful
Each lick makes my soul swell
This crush is like sweet water
Quenching, life giving
To this thirsty cowgirl
Texas sized palpitations
Pumping and raging
make my love grow 
Scarred and kicked
no way of knowing
If I'll be destroyed
If I'll be adored 
and in turn adore

Friday, December 23, 2011

Rusty cowgirl

Old dusty road
Babbling bubbling inner dialogue  crooked spine
 soul on fire
True grit
Trekking through the rows of houses 
Children, lovers, mamas n papas
All gathered around together
Laughing, cooking 
Sayin grace,
 looking at family pictures 
 building stories
Nostalgia  in a thick, dreamy haze fills my brain 
as I walk alone
been here before
The fiery maple leaves 
crest in waves 
 perfect wrought iron fence
 protects a brightly lit house 
 blinking red and gold lights 
 electric candy 
 this time of year
 so lonesome 
I could cry
 the well's run dry 
I was an ocean
Always a cowgirl
Don't fence me in 
and I will be a river

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Texas heart is full.

I am from a broken down F150 in the yard, its camper proudly displaying rotting rose printed curtains and two big mouth bass decals on the sides. It sits there still in a wild flower jungle full of old tools and night mares.

I am from fire crystals that made so many fires into what looked just like Chinese New Year with the people you love. Nights spent under the biggest skies laughing and telling stories on hay bales

I am from "I got it at the getting place" and endless beatings. Nights spent hiding from the whiskey monster.

I am from bb guns, riding bikes past the dump, and pulling nails out of windows to sneak out into the unknown.

I am from skinned knees and climbing trees, watching the sunset everyday and feeding the horses grass.

I am from truth or dare, Vietnam veterans, broken old men and sleeping under bridges.

I am from dancing naked in the rain, breaking into swimming pools and riding the spinnaker at Six Flags over  and over. Always riding alone cuz it made me slide to the back of the car and giggle while Arlington spun past me.

I am from catching perch off the dock, baitin' the trotline and picking dinner from the garden. The fried catfish, fresh sliced tomatoes with salt, fried okra and sun tea were  devoured after saying grace.

I am from long distance trucking, sneaking out dads whiskey and hiding in abandoned houses.

I am from skinny dipping, lightning bugs and June bugs rattling screen doors.

I am from locusts  calling out in waves, cottonwood floating and giant willow trees to nap under.

My heart is red and sweet, it pounds like a bull thundering across open prairie.

" Hard to be soft,
tough to be tender. "

"Too young to hold on,
And too old to just break free and run."

I am stoking my own fire. It's a good heat I'm building to last.

Sunday, December 18, 2011



Electricity flashes through my brain
as I think of you coming into the house.   I'm soaping my thighs, hips and ankles as I fantasize that your hands are on my body. I hear your deep rumbling voice tell me I'm such a good girl. I feel your strong hands circle my thighs, the back of my knee, the bell of my ass. You hug my body while your on your knees behind me. You kiss my hips slowly while the warm water rushes down to my toes.  You taste me, testing the waters. I spread my legs saying "drink me". You bury your mouth in my pussy from behind lapping at my clit and I shudder. I feel your urgency to explore and let you dive into my body head first. You lick me over and over working your way into my ass. I'm quaking now. My legs are like jelly. You put me on my knees in my room. Still dripping wet the both of us are. I'm blind folded and quiet. I feel the air rushing, but it's too late to wince before the paddle cracks my ass. The sting flows like lava.  My instinct takes over and I back up into the air like a cat in heat. I feel your fingers on my head delicately 
curl a fistful of my hair holding me in place. "Down" you tell me. I sit back on my haunches whimpering. 

My lover the sea

My Lover the Sea

I am that child with the round, dirty face
who on every corner bothers you with his
"can you spare a quarter?"
I am that child with the dirty face
no doubt unwanted
that from far away contemplates coaches
where other children
emit laughter and jump up and down considerably

I am that unlikeable child
definitely unwanted
with the round dirty face
who before the giant street lights or
under the grandames also illuminated
or in front of the little girls that seem to levitate
projects the insult of his dirty face

I am that angry and lonely child of always,
that throws you the insult of that angry child of always
and warns you:
if hypocritically you pat me on the head
I would take that opportunity to steal your wallet.

I am that child of always
before the panorama of imminent terror,
imminent leprosy, imminent fleas,
of offenses and the imminent crime.

I am that repulsive child that improvises a bed
out of an old cardboard box and waits,
certain that you will accompany me.

- Reinaldo Arenas (1943-1990)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dream time

Dreamed I was trying to save this man from death. Death was like being rotten and threadbare under water screaming hollowness. The instrument of death was a gun. The gun was shot and went through this quarter making a perfect hole. I was in some huge garage.  The killer was a henchmen who could turn into a snake like creature made of paper. I was tricking it into laughter. I woke myself up talking to it. I had two souls to save from him, the souls were brothers. Pigment, concrete, machines. I also dreamed before that I was tending this couple. They were sleeping together on the ground in this huge theater kind of back stage among light rigging and props. I was taking double handfuls of wet sand and patting their hips. They were spooning. I was careful not to wake them. I was scared the man would rape me if he woke up. The woman was my sister. Somehow that gave the man the right to take me if he so desired. I did not like that. I started building bigger hips and thighs on my own body with the sand. I was sitting on my knees thinking of cleopatra. There were electrical circuits under the sand and machines for me to manipulate. .......

Monday, October 24, 2011

Lately drumming

pretend I'm going to sleep
Dreaming of c batteries
Thinking of the perfect lover
Touching myself
Blazing a path from my yoni to my heart
A stroke of lightning
In my kitty bed
In my brothers closet
Unbeknownst to them all
I stoke the fire inside
Burning hotter than the sun
Between my thighs 
Pillars of joy
Cocked and loaded
Ansy Trigger finger 
Disco fever in my pj's
Pushing the limits
Of my own pleasure
Fingers in my mouth
Suckling the flesh
Of my own rare fruit
Exploring the possibilities
Fiddler in the shadows
Getting to know me
Increasing velocity
At the thought of you
Inside me pushing
All boundaries
My pulse like a drum
Signaling other tribes
Explosions of shattered magick
Flying through space
Out of time
My secret song
Fills the air
With headiness 

Saturday, September 3, 2011

wild at heart

A light ever traveling
toward super nova
a galaxy folds into itself
causing it to warp
a heart freed from pain
heavy with longing
to belong
to be lighted
to super nova
smoothing out my face lines
walking with a lighter step
broadening my graciousness
overflowing with gratitude
octopus arms like tongues licking the air
searching out meaning
in the center of the hive
a cyborg metropolis
complete with drone after drone
tasting and smelling
all of the beauty and horror
bustling around me and
within me

Friday, August 26, 2011

In the garden today

A mouthful of mandarins
bursting sunshine on her tongue
while she regards her brush strokes,
application of pigments,
and her freshly painted feet
Dreamsicle orange petals sway
rustling papery sounds
sunflower stalk on the rise
green grass and leaves
snail trails and spider webs
 made of metal additives
shimmer at night
only the lucky will see
the secret glittering messages
left here and there
in the garden
all over her hands today
in her hair
on her coveralls
like a banana peeled to the middle
promising fruit
sleeves tied at her waist
In the garden
she listens to the wind
she sings and smiles
she's being watched
like a fruit in the heat
ready to burst
and rain colorful sugars
and nectar into the soil
the earth laughs in flowers
laughter heals the soul

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


An earthquake
richly deserved
warm skin
cool hands
palpitating heart
out of side walk chalk
ripples of expectation
into the sea
crashing waves
pull me under
taking me away
to drown in dreams

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Journey into the void

This ancient passage
overwhelmingly familiar
the symbols carved, painted
pull at my mind
I am deep in this place
again and again
every night
reaching toward ecstasy
the conch shell horn blows
a resonant, haunting song
that pulls at my mind
remember where you are
where you've been
deep tunnels leading
to the beginning and
the end
of enlightenment
snakes and water slides
in my dreams
every night
again and again
riding the light
fucking myself
into oblivion
total annihilation
stories told
and untold
a secret place
I've been
again and
listening for the quiet sound
low to the setting sun
awaiting twilight
where I will find
more dreams
to taunt me
reminding me
of a place
I've been visiting
again and again
fucking myself
into the great unknown
shattered lives
again and again
snakes and water slides
tunnels leading to the center
of my being
remember who you are

Monday, August 15, 2011

dripping with light

Thighs spread
Shooting stars
awaiting visitors
from another planet
No secret
she needs
this forced pressure
no limits
ginger wildfire
an engagement
a moment
a trip to the outer limits

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Like a hammer

I feel like someone has a snow shovel and is continuously smashing my heart with it, but it just won't stop beating

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

All is full of love

Wildfire, neon light, fox prance
cultivated steady into
produce, electric bill, morning route

no quick recovery
from humdrum numbness
your words are like ice daggers
into my heart

tow the load
down the old dusty trail
nobodies fault but my own
on my way
to the wildfire prance
two by two
full of hope and lightning bug power

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Hey boy

In this place you are standing behind me.  I can feel your breath upon my body.  Come closer to me...I am drowning in this longing to take action.  Clawing to rise above the surface and take a deep breath and clear my mind of you.  I am haunted............

 As I lay here in my room all alone, you in my head, I scan over the surface of my fleshscape.  Watching the living hills rise and fall with each breath.  I see my thighs like pillars made of milk, knees leaning on one another like lovers strolling through the park.  They sway from left to right in tune with the music softly wafting through the air.  Subtle vibrations that influence my emotions always.  The covers are velveteen and this room is dark.  In my solitude I relish the serenity and freeness of it all.  I can pretend you're here and writhe about seductively while you watch me on my bed.  Or I can imagine you watching me through the bathroom window where the amber oiled steam rises like swirling phantoms out the window into the night air.  Your eyes just above the sill as I'm smoothing my oils over my shoulders and arms. The sweat and bathwater tears blend and roll down my waist in rivulets to the curves of my hips.  I raise one leg and with both hands I smooth the scented loveliness up and down my inner thigh.  I move my hands up my belly to my ribs, to my breasts.  You are what is on my mind in moments like these.  You've been here for so long.  You were there when I snuck out of the window into the night and ran naked through the forest.  You were there the time I sprawled out on top of my dad's car in the yard under the moonlight, nipples taut at the cold twilight.  You'll be there when I lay my head down tonight and summon you here with me.
 Not totally.  No, never are you really here, but you may never come to me in such form.  I will make due with the apparition.  Maybe in a parallel universe I appear in your head, daunting you and seducing you over and over again.  I wonder if I have black feathered wings, or tendrils of light sprouting from between my shoulders that encompass you and turn you all around.  You've unfurled your obsidian wings for me.  I've heard your hooves disturb the dusty understory of the forest where I crept all naked and wild.  You've chased me underwater and kissed me there giving me gills.  I'll swim in these fantasies from this world to the next, and from the next back to this.  I carved this deep inside myself and it displays beautifully.

Our brightest star

Always changing, never failing to pull me in.  Swept away by it.  The sensation of particlizing, fragmenting into nothing.  Overwhelmed with passion as I'm being cut loose in this place called Melissa.  Rolling smooth curves swoon beneath the blazing energy of the sun.  I lay down to look at my beautiful landscape.  I run my fingers across the hills of living flesh.  Tremors blanket my breast at my touch.  My tightened nipples giggle at the warning of potential earthquakes.  My knees part for the heat of our brightest star.  That's all it takes to get me there.  A wild place where the best lover of all lovers comes to me and brings me the sweetest treasure........
I can see it waiting to happen.  I can feel it ready to begin.  Turning over, I press my face into the cool fabric of my pillows.  They smell of me after a long, hot soak.  They entice me with their secrets kept within from nights of fantasies and wonton desires.  I arch my back as I gather my knees beneath me.  The covers fall away like a curtain in an underground theater.  My hips sway from side to side as I part my legs slowly, slightly.  I arch my back so my ass is as high in the air as possible and rub it open palmed around in circles.  "Smack!"  I slip my fingers into my mouth and wet them.  As I'm sucking my fingers and spanking myself I dream of you.  I slip my newly moistened finger tips between my legs to wet my feverish clit.  All eyes are on me in my mind as I spread my legs wider.  My pussy is warm and aching to be fucked.  I imagine you here rubbing my ass.  Kissing it, adoring it.  You press your lips to my cunt from behind like a thirsting convict parched from the dry heat of living on the lamb.  Tingles and shudders course through my whole body down to my toes.  You enter my slit with flattened tongue as you squeeze my ass.  I want you to show me everything.  You rise up behind me and run your fingers up the nape of my neck.  You pull me up by a fistful of hair and nudge me towards the wall.  I raise my hands as we draw nearer.  The support of the wall is good.  I know I'm gonna need it.  Then I feel warm liquid rolling down my back over my ass spilling over my cunt like a river to the sea.  Oil me down, caress my newly oiled thighs.  Tell me what you're going to do to me.  You get out a big paddle and proceed to oil it down as well.  I feel such anticipation.  Butterflies set loose in my belly.  I know it's coming but I don't know when!  "Pow!"  Oh how that sting brings me pleasure.  Again and again you spank it like you stroke your own cock. You relish at the site of my red ass from your unrelenting power. I feel your cock slap against my slippery outer thigh with every stroke. You stop suddenly, my eyes are closed.  I want you to spank my hot pussy, but I am waiting for your command.  I feel your hand cup it from behind. You give it a good, solid clap.  The blood rushes to my face.  You proceed to steadily smack my pussy with your cupped hand.  I want to writhe at this, but I dare not.  You slide your thumb inside me as you curl your pointer finger around my wet, pink bell.  Your teeth are on my back and neck.  Tongue, lips, teeth all intermingle around my throat.  I can't help but rock back driving your thumb deep inside my sopping cunt.  Back and forth, back and forth moaning.  Your other hand all over my shiny hard breasts   Then you grab me by the hips and pull my ass towards you bending me over onto the bed again.  You push my face to the pillows and give a good, hard blow to each cheek. You push your hard cock into my stoked cunt.  You drive it all the way up into me till it can go no further.  "My god your going to break me."  "Fuck me, fuck my pussy, fuck me like the whore I am."  Your pumping me good now.  I love the way your balls slap up against my clit with every thrust.  You rake your nails from the base of my skull down my back only to rake along my hips and up to my heaving chest.  You pinch down and roll my nipples like crisp, golden almonds between your fingertips whilst pounding me harder and harder.  My cunt is sopping and oiled as you pull away only to slam back into me like a crazed animal.  I am reared back with my ass as high as the sky with my face smashed down in the covers when you pull out.  You slather my ass good with another oil again.  You slide your cock between the hot curves of my fully lubed ass cheeks. You fill my ass with warm oil as you play with my clit. Then I feel the head of your cock pushing to enter my most secret pleasure.  You push it in further till your hips meet mine.  I'm beyond control at this point.  I can't stop moaning.  You slowly retreat from me.  My ass, tight and slippery, undulates and melts with hot relief as you pull away.  You slip it back in softly and I feel the push again.  I find myself telling you "Fuck my tight ass just like that."  I want to feel your big cock all the way in and all the way out and I just can't help but tell you how much I love it.  Your hands on each cheek with your fingers spanned out wide around them.  The sound you make as you slide in and out makes me want to make you come so hard. We begin to gain momentum together.  I can sense your urgency to dispatch your bridled spark from deep within. You grab a handful of hair and begin to slap up against me as you thrust your turgid member harder and deeper into me. Then I'm there.  Waves of the most pleasurable vibrations begin to tumble like thunder throughout my body. You disembogue your lascivious load into me.  You're reducing my once proud, reared back, cowgirl stance to a quivering pool of duantless satisfaction.  I tremble and twitch curled up and spent.  Now you know what's in the heart of my engine's rage.


I am swimming in the sweetest water
I am asleep deep in the forest of dreams
My mirrors are enamored of you
You flash and flicker through the prisms of my minds eye
I run warm and wet through the heavy green grass
Breathless and laughing
The moon shines for me and lays her silver blessings
Down dancing across my taught nipples
Your words are forged into me
Deep and penetrating 
Sparks of light unfold from my tongue
Into your ear racing into your brain
Showing you the heavens that await you

On bottom

The sting heats me
like a home in the snow,
all warm and snug inside.
I want you to provide
the sting I so deeply crave.
Feeling like a little girl who done something bad,
chastised sweetly,
spellbound by your authority.
Red earth is the color of heat...

Overpower me
anticipating, wincing, wanting.
Punish me for wanting this.
How badly I ache
for you to be there
when I'm coming out of my steaming
perfumed bath.
How tantalizing it would be to feel
both finger and thumb's
pinching pressure
upon my steaming oiled nipples
with your cheek touching mine.
One hand to my throat
the other digging nails
into the bell of my ass....

As I lay here in the tub
I dream of this place
where you put me over
your knee.
You pull my head back
with tenderness.
Slip the leather bit
to the back of my bite and
pull the reigns.
Crack my sweet, flawless
round ass.
The sting melts me
and my liquid self mixes
with the bubbles
swirling in the scorching hot water.

I'm still dreaming
when I'm drying off.
I rub scented cream
into my thighs and buttocks
I give myself a firm smack.
It's so good.
It's not enough.
I give the peach
a few stinging slaps.
I smart at the feel of it,
wincing at the pain-
then that dizzying sting again...
It makes me wet,
my bell swells
at the thought of you
pulling the reigns
and spanking my cheeks
while slowly
pumping into
my aching cunt.
Hand prints blending
into each other
all over my ass
the leather tastes so good
between my teeth
Feeling your hands
smooth over my thighs....
Tie me down..
Take me over and over....

String puller

Fingers curled through my ribbons
to lace me up tight
You give them a solid yank
Silken, hand-made
threadbare and tattered
twirling spirals
hit the floor
in a pile of black coils
at my bare feet
you're a nail biter
a liar
secret snatcher
kissing snake
you dress me
in your panties
you undress me
in your bedroom
one line drawings
of me
as Artemis
I am your huntress
I will take you down
two black diamonds
you and I
bone and blood
flesh and calcium
water and electricity
dreams encased in soft tissue
you are chaos calling
I am the rhythm you seek
I ran through crisp air and autumn leaves
to your room
not a moment to spare
you will dissappear
and with you all that magic
that is made up of only us

Waiting in line

On the bus, waiting in a ticket line, at the grocery store or anywhere and I become immersed in these thoughts.  I drift into this hidden place where I make up the worlds the people in line live in.  They catch my eye and I imagine them in the shower, wrestling into their socks or swimming naked in a river.  I take off their clothes and take down their protective walls all in a moment in line.  I watch this woman texting, smiling to herself while she is living in another world with someone else as she stands so near. I imagine she's having a magical time all her own.  I stare because she is beautiful.  I watch her because we are strangers and may never cross paths again.